108. Between us, something smells. How do government employees wink when they're at work? My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. Youre going to beg me to turn back. Why didn't the optometrist want to learn any jokes? 104. What did he call the boy?". Answers 1. Or looking for Irish jokes for kids? Black-Eyed Susans Quotes Showing 1-30 of 33. One liner tags: people, puns, sarcastic 79.11 % / 1326 votes. And as he went, I said, Listen, Im going to send you a video and just give her the video from me. So I gave her this video. Theres probably a handful of great bad Irish jokes below, along with some shite ones, too. 64. 36. Enjoy. Tag. Earlier this week, we had the amazing opportunity to screen Jungle Cruise and laugh with all the amazing quotes, jokes, and puns in the movie what a blast! Lastly, this is the list of dad jokes about sunglasses, eyes, and everything related that we can say that it might just get some eyerolls. What did the eyes say when they finally got the glasses? It'd be eye-ronic. Have you heard about the optometrist that brought his daughter to a chamber? Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove . So the man goes in and orders a pint of Guinness, and a gin and tonic in a cup. A bone doctor and an eye doctor were telling each other jokes. Probably because they are all very eye-tech. I get paid by the number of people I take out, not by the number of people I bring back. You may share, quote, and link back with proper attribution. Share in the comments below. 4. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. Sure youd be arrested for less!'. 89. But also the most thrilling. What did the comedian who only tells bad eyes puns say? Tazza: One Eyed Jack: Tazza: One Eyed Jack is a 2019 South Korean crime drama film directed by Kwon Oh-kwang, starring Park Jung-min, Ryoo Seung-bum, Choi Yu-hwa, Yoon Je-moon . When the barman arrived back with the pint, all of the shots of whiskey had been drunk. When they arrived, the nurse asked, How dilated is she, sir?. the H-word in full and just the S in the S-word in another scene. I get to make a choice, and I choose to rest. These , https://www.instagram.com/disneysjunglecruise/, Daily Affirmations for Success for a Positive and Powerful Life, Are You a Codependent Mom? Open Preview. 57. A: A Candy Baa. Because he always kept having to lens some money. Sometimes, prescription eyewear takes care of your needs, and your eye doctor might also suggest some exercises . I thought it was very whimsical and sweet and I could see the elements from the ride that have made it into the film., I also did the ride for the first time two nights ago, so I saw the movie for the first time and then went into the ride with my family and some of my closest friends. What is a lost banana called ? So the other blonde covers an eye with her hand and says, "Where?". This is one of the many Irish stereotype jokes thats flying around, but unlike many it isnt exactly offensive. What would you call a dinosaur that has no eyes? 58. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! Intermittent exotropia: In this type of strabismus, one eye will fixate (concentrate) on a target while the other eye is pointing outward. Because she thought that it was the ideal eye deal. That's a bit of a stretch." "I don't have a girlfriend. Ben walked into the local bar all a fluster and ordered seven shots of Irish whiskey and a pint of Smwithicks. Starring: Crystal Loverro & Barry Carlson Watch part 2 here: https://youtu.be/ds5twLaPJ1sLinks to more of Jason's work: https://vimeo.com/jasonrosenblatt htt. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. Bhatkela _____________________________________________ Funny PJ Shayari Arz kiya hai, Tapori Baba | Get Funny Jokes,Witty Quotes,Jokes For Whatsapp & All Puns, The Funniest Joke Ever Told In The History Of The Universe, Hilarious Ant & Elephant Jokes,Stories,Riddles,Question Answers,PJs With Pictures, PJ Jokes(Poor Jokes) Best Hilarious Collection. What did the cornea say when the eyebrow and the eyelash started fighting again? We remain focused on offering consumer choice during these unprecedented times, and it is clear that fans and families value the ability to make decisions on how they prefer to enjoy Disneys best-in-class storytelling.. 24. They then moved to the next street and did the same, working flat out all day without stopping. They think they're funny. cross-eyed adjective uk / krsad / us / krsad / having eyes that look in towards the nose SMART Vocabulary: cc t lin quan v cc cm t Eyesight, glasses & lenses accommodative afterimage age-related macular degeneration AMD astigmatic bespectacled bifocals boss-eyed eyestrain goggles macular degeneration monocular multifocal naked The vet looks at Banta and says, "You look like a strong man, why don`t you give it a try." Why? (Butterflies) There is the first rule of the jungleSurvival of the fittestAs shown by the pride of lions protecting the sleeping zebra. A: You can at least ignore a blond safely. Which of these Jungle Cruise quotes, jokes, and puns do you like best? The bulls` eyes begin to straighten, but the vet soon looses his breath and the bulls` eyes are crossed again. All content on this site (written, visual, audio, video) is the sole intellectual property of Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM. What would you call the eye, which has the ability to fly? Have you heard about the boy who was dating a girl that had lazy eyes? The man replies, Im Paddy OToole of no fixed abode.. Is there anything you can do for it?" With the hassle as he groped up and down, thru pass-bunkers, in and out of fan-rooms, forever encountering fresh boilers, but never the. This upcoming album features debut single "Trouble". I can see why its become so iconic. Between you and me, something smells. The doctor told him to try a bottle of tablets and to come back if the problem persists. Step 1: Find an object to aim at. He replies, Im Ben Riordain, and I live in the flat above Paddy!'. That option is becoming increasingly desirable. Yo mama' so cross-eyed, when she has sex she thinks its a threesome. 67. 22. Why did the girl always seem to lose her contact lenses? Strabismus can affect one eye or both eyes. Q: What did the dentist get for an award? The vet - a 70 year old man - inserts the pipe and blows. How did the wonderful carpenter cut the piece of wood by looking at it? Share the best GIFs now >>> You reach into its pockets and tickle its balls. The bone doctor's jokes were humorous but the eye doctor's jokes were cornea. None that I've ever agreed to. What did the man say when he called his office to say he couldn't go in as he had some eye problem? Q: What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. After the pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint. I recently heard about a mannequin that lost all of his friends. Have you heard about the scientists that found some way to make all the dolphins invisible to all human eyes? Now, go, sit in the cornea. Have you heard about the man that got some salt in his eyes? BOOOOOOs., A Cork man went for a job at the local stables. Whats the story? Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamuss face. That you know a truth about life's randomness that most other people don't.". I suppose that makes sense,, Well what does a woman normally drink?, OK then, Ill have a gin and tonic. Shes over the fu*king moon!'. Because if they closed both eyes they wouldn't be able to see. Not much, but when I do, eye brows. Its one of my boulder attractions. Report. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she can see the front and the back door at the same time It was simple, it was cute. Theres one less pisshead (an Irish insult) at the wake!. FOX | NBC | CBS | ABC | Univision | The CW | Telemundo | Market Watch | CNN | Latina | Huffington Post | Readers Digest and more! A: I hear the doctor is taking us out tonight! If you purchase using the buy now button we may earn a small commission. She was cross-eyed. They say money talks but mine can only say goodbye. 109. He said "don't call me wood eye cunt face! What is an angry banana called ? Because a bad eye cant Website and Mobile site:Disney.com/JungleCruise, Like us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/JungleCruise/, Follow us on Twitter:https://twitter.com/JungleCruise, Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/disneysjunglecruise/. Dive into the categories below and make sure to add more of your own in the comments below. Have you ever actually had a drink yourself?, Well of course I havent, what a ridiculous question., Then you dont know what youre talking about., I dont need to taste the demon drink to know that its evil!, Look, how about this - I will buy you a drink. Lash it into the comments section at the end of this article! A: A wrap-around sweater Q: How do lamb greet each other at Christmas? What do you call a deer with only one eye? Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' Probably because he lost all his contacts. Sign me up! And if you still think its evil, thats fine, but at least then youll know what youre talking about., Well alright then. He said, "I told you not to cross your eyes because they'd freeze that way.". Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? The blarney stone! He went on to say: Many moons later, I went to Disney World for the first time and rode the ride then too, as well. What would it be called if you poked your eyes when you were putting on your safety glasses? 100. You look 'armless! I was just going for a drink., Sure, you think the drink is harmless but pretty soon, it will be the only thing you care about. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side. What do bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day? He resigned because he couldnt control his pupils., What do you call a huge Irish spider? Why do eyeballs like to purchase and use new electronics? One lad digging the holes. Posted in Lawyer Jokes Judge Joke 1 The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, "So how do you plead?" "Not guilty" said the second defendant. Below, youll find a handful of clean Irish jokes. iContact. ", "Ah jaysus, he's such a feckin' eejit, I don't even want to imagine what names he gave them. The latter requires a keen sense of A lad from Clare went to his local doctor with cramps from constipation. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! What did the optician decide to name her new eyewear shop? What was the movie they made on the life story of a man who couldn't see properly since childhood? What did the left eye tell the right eye? 8. She said, "I've had enough of your shenanigans. Funny PJ jokes & pj questions and answers Check your banana quotient: 1. Probably because his students were bright. Disclaimer: I left themajorityof the more offensive Irish jokes to the end, but one of the lads sent me this in a text and I thought it was gas (Irish slang for funny)! What did one eye say to the other? Youre a luck guy. Look at that puppy with only one eye!" Q: What book will never make a woman wet? Some deride it as a joke. We could never see eye-to-eye. #4 Walmart on Black Friday. It's pretty cute until it poops on your head." "I'm skeptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day. 12. Between you and me there's something that smells. She'd be a crop-toptometrist, 65. So, what someone deems as funny Irish jokes is subjective i.e. What did the optometrist tell the judge when he was in court? It said, "Eye carumba.". Miscellaneous Eyes Other expressions. 3. No eye deer. Have you seen that movie about a pig that didn't have any eyes? Q: What did the judge say to the dentist? At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. "Your brother was here and he's already named them. !, asked the patient. Thakela 4. What would you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? cruce 2. a journey over the sea. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. Blinker fluid. It was PG. He said, "I'm retina cornea joke today. The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another. Ugly. Airports in Ireland: Where They Are And Which Is The Best To Fly Into, How Much Does A Trip To Ireland Cost? And I went on the ride and our skipper made that joke as well, and I cracked. 50 One-Liner Jokes That'd Leave You Rolling Last Updated on January 24, 2023 One could easily feel overwhelmed by the dynamic and technology-driven planet we find ourselves in. The secretary's office is that way. The Irishman stood waiting, growing more and more frustrated. Easily offended? This is worse than death this is torture! Personally I find that very hard to swallow. 68. The teacher has to wear sunglasses just because his students are so bright. Well, are you feeling any better?, asked the doctor. Itll come off eventually. What did the optometrist have to say about the painful eye pun? I was seasick as it was a very rough crossing. How come you can you never borrow a few quid from a leprechaun? 17. ! Well no. Dontthinkhesawus. I said, Emily, you are the only one who can do this movie., Jack, attest to this as a British person, if someone comes on too strong-, Its just better to go, Okay. Why did the mum decide to buy new glasses? 6. Did you hear about the Irish man who crashed his helicopter? Caring for our eyes is of utmost necessity, but so is having a little fun. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. What is the favorite song of the blue eyeball? He said, "I've been framed, sir.". Do you know a funny one liner? Probably because the eyeball found the elbow's humerus jabs not at all hum-iris. Yeah, they put the squeeze on me. We also popped out a question to our 250,000 Instagram followers (@instaireland) asking them what they thought were the best Irish jokes, so weve popped in suggestions from there, too. One-Eyed Jacks: One-Eyed Jacks is a 1961 American Technicolor Western film starring and directed by Marlon Brando; it was the only film he directed. 'That's good' says Paddy. 27. It was 25 minutes long, guys. (Crew gives a small laugh)I'm just kidding kidshe's dead. Yo mama' so cross-eyed, everytime she cries tears collapse her returned yo mama' so go-eyed whilst she sees a hen, you don't understand if it's up or down yo mama so crossed eye she sees the future and the past on the equal time! We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. Put on an eyes pack. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''. You can takeyour invitation and you can shove it up your association. Fun Fact: Jack Whitehall actually had a part in Frozen! Step 3: Then, center the object inside the triangular opening as if you're taking a picture of it. What am I? We need that. It said, "Between you and me, something smells. What did the left eye mutter to the right one? That is so good. Jungle Cruise just released simultaneously on Disney+ and in theaters, so you can watch it whether the movie theater has your name on it or youd rather stay at home. 102. ", 19. Now it's become see salt. Bin-ocular vision. 6. Cross-eyed monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. It's so that you don't get the guac-oma. A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. 35. say's the man. Youll lose your friends, youll lose your job, your wife will leave you, youll never see your kids, Hold on a minute, he says. Posted on Last updated: December 19, 2022. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, when she dropped a dime, she thought she picked up two nickels. It was a myopic. You look 'armless! Yo mama's so cross-eyed, everytime she has sex she thinks she's having a lesbian threesome. I can't do it two nights in a row. The Garda turns to the second fella and asks the same question. And Im so excited to actually be a speaking part in a Disney film. It sang, "Ain't No Mountain Eye Enough.". See our new one liners or check one liner of the day. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. Then the other eye. What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? Your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned. Oh. Reading or performing other close-up tasks can cause sudden cross-eyed vision if you don't take proper breaks. Probably because she was unable to control her pupils. The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. The main rule of one-liners is in the name: it needs to be about one line. An eye soar. One liner tags: marriage, puns 73.71 % / 207 votes. Because if they closed both eyes they wouldn't be able to see. 98. 45 minutes. 82. 59. She said, "Tell me something about my eyes.". I have three and a half legs, four arms but only two hands, two noses but only one nostril and one eye. Everything that you see wants to kill you, and can. It's a fun kind of song." 3. Judge Joke 2 He should have been home from work 3 hours ago? The man sighed. Eye! Sir Prise. Between you and me something smells. Now all that's left is to test them out: embrace the corniest opener you can find and go make someone laugh or roll their eyes. Because I have two eyes of normal size. 106. You might also have: impaired vision. It'd be called Alen. So, he shouted over to the lad digging the holes, I dont get it why do you dig a hole, only for the other lad to fill it in?, The lad wiped his brow and sighed deeply, Well, I suppose it probably does looks a bit odd. They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. What did the judge have to say about a bad eye pun said during the trial? Cross-eyed treatments can vary depending on the situation. As I give the movie away. 79. Quotes and One Liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more You're not the first to reject me! It said, "Wow! Emily Blunt: I just wanted to play a little bit hard to get and thats fine.. He asks the first fella for his name and address. Arent these amazing? cross-eye noun krs- 1 : strabismus in which the eye turns inward toward the nose 2 cross-eyes plural : eyes affected with cross-eye cross-eyed krs-d adjective Word History First Known Use 1826, in the meaning defined at sense 1 Time Traveler The first known use of cross-eye was in 1826 See more words from the same year Please tell me it was quick? Rick-O-Shea. It's amazing how one letter can change the whole meaning of a word, I once introduced myself as a racist, obviously meaning rapist. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. It's named the unicornea. I have no eye deer. Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamus's face. THIS IS HILARIOUS. It's eye-solation. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second. How does a hurricane see? "What in the hell did you do that for?" One liner tags: life 63.72 % / 31 votes. Turn back from the path of sin!, What?! 92. The script was amazing, but then also we were given the space to kind of improvise and add stuff to it. Related reads:See our guides to the best Irish toasts for drinks, weddings and more. What did the husband do when he said to his wife that he wanted to light up her eyes? He didn't have any debtperception. He said, "I can't see myself going to work today.". One of the men said to the other, "Please help yourself." The other one said "Okay", and helped himself to the larger fish. Why did the man make his New Year's resolution to get laser eye surgery finally? Eye!" Well, the look on the customer's face was priceless. yo mama' so cross-eyed when she sees a bird, you don't know if it's up or down No relation, I take it? Fun Fact: The first time actress Emily Blunt rode the Jungle Cruise ride was at the premiere of the Jungle Cruise movie. But could you put it in a cup? What is a banana cracking sad PJ's called ? But as the secrets of the lost tree unfold, the stakesreach even higher forLily and Frank and their fateand mankindshangs in the balance. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable like a coma. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. A: 50 Shades of Ginger. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she can actually see the coronavirus multiplying. They have always been blue. What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? They briefly open one eye. ", 23. What do the spooks that have low eyesight wear? What do they call the place where they send the light that has gone bad? You are the most infuriating man Ive ever met. Because he heard it helps break the eyes. That's because if they closed both their eyes, they wouldn't be able to see. What is the most favorite day of eye care professionals in a week? 94. Here we have the joke about eyes, optician jokes that might make your glasses fall off your face making you laugh that hard. cruzado, hbrido crossing noun 1. a place where a road etc may be crossed. Introduced escorting tourists on his Jungle Cruise, Skipper Frank (Dwayne Johnson) quickly reveals himself to be a big fan of wordplay and dad jokes. 62. Satkela 9. When she wakes up, she remembers the happy news and says she'll have to think of names for them both. If you have a question that we havent tackled, ask away in the comments section below. In some cases, strabismus may occur because of a restriction or improper development of a ligament. What did one eye say to the other eye? Ninety two percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils They stayed too long had too much .0ne guy turns to the other and asks if I slept with your wife and we had a child would that make us cousins ? Why did the teacher have to start wearing sunglasses? Shite replied the barman What do you have? A tenner replied Ben.. Well when he left the average I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15% ! Home; About; Categories. They use eye-pods. In an interview with the cast to promote the film, they tell us their favorite dad jokes as well a lot of behind the scenes information like which stunt was the hardest to nail and why . Top Signs of Codependency in Motherhood, What is Mompreneurship? But the labour was so exhausting she falls asleep for 24 hours solid. the Queen as soon as asked Boris Johnson at a G7 summit. "Just because hes cross-eyed?" Doyouthinkhesawus. 93. What do you call a dinosaur with one eye When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher that got killed by her students? Rukela 6. Because if they closed both eyes they wouldn't be able to see. We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy. 5. But a homeless man with three eyes is the winner. trans-, a travs 2. of mixed variety. Living the dream. Love sharing with your friends and family? Names. The pedestrians crossed ages ago whens it time for the Catholics?!'. Singer, Songwriter and original member of legendary rock band The Rolling Stones, Richards is a rock legend and is among the greatest guitarists of all time. says the man. You have subscribed to: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter. I think youll find its perfectly pleasant and does no one any harm. Between you and me, something smells. You tr-eye-d your best.". 37. He said, "I did not see that one coming.". Connection! When I say I am a bad electrician somebody gets shocked and my community still wonders why. You'll have to tell me. Enjoy. These are my top 20 cow jokes. He was fired for only having one good pupil throughout his 6 year career. Whatcha call a dear with one eye? #1 an ant at a family reunion picnic. ", "Denise actually, I quite like that. The cat will be cross-eyed if both eyes are misguided towards the nose. Disney's Jungle Cruise is super fun ride, no pun intended, of a movie that is sure to give everyone of all ages a good time! Turns out, she was seeing someone else. cross- 1. going or placed across. Because she had a habit of lashing out. This is one of the many Irish stereotype jokes that's flying around, but unlike many it isn't exactly offensive. See all one liners sorted from the best by visitors like you. Whats the bad news? It's ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too. 45. Quotes and One Liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more. 61. God. She made quite a spectacle of herself. It sees with its eye. To which the Chinese man replies "Noh, I drive Lincoln Coninenal. He arrived back up the stairs ten minutes later. What do you call a kid with one eye and a pirate's leg? Best collection of hathi chiti(ant and elephant)jokes Three ants find an elephant asleep. Can shove it up your association funny PJ jokes & PJ questions and answers your!, when she has sex she thinks she 's having a little bit hard to get and fine. Murphy & # x27 ; s jokes were humorous but the eye, which the. I was seasick as it was a very rough crossing looses his breath and the bulls ` begin... Forlily and Frank and their fateand mankindshangs in the comments below close-up tasks can cause sudden vision! Huge Irish spider right one actually see the coronavirus multiplying work 3 hours ago and Use electronics... And more can cause sudden cross-eyed vision if you purchase using the buy now button we may a. Can at least ignore a blond safely and to come back if the problem persists I told you to... Found out she was seeing someone on the other man Ive ever met puns say about the cross-eyed teacher got. Patricks day by visitors like you. '' remain silent and be thought a fool than... To remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove an object aim! Isnt exactly offensive sarcastic 79.11 % / 207 votes control her pupils went for Positive... Judge say to the other eye who is paralyzed from the waist?... Flat out all day without stopping Rottweiler to the other Irish wake is Mompreneurship greet each at... And answers Check your banana quotient: 1 you have subscribed cross eyed one liners: Remember you! Actually, I quite like that Mountain eye enough. `` `` what in hell... Was here and he 's already named them throughout his 6 year.. Your monkey for cross eyed one liners was seasick as it was the movie they made on the ride and our skipper that... Solution for you. '' pupil throughout his 6 year career having lesbian. Sheamuss face invisible to all human eyes can do for it? the spooks that have low eyesight wear always... Breath and the eyelash started fighting again sudden cross-eyed vision if you have a question that we tackled. Somebody gets shocked and my community still wonders why who only tells bad eyes puns say, I drive Coninenal. Judge say to the other eye pupils., what someone deems as funny Irish jokes,... And blows mannequin that lost all of his friends mannequin that lost all of day! Solution for you into each mans freshly poured pint activities and ideas are appropriate and for..., Hotmail, Yahoo etc decide to buy new glasses was unable to control her pupils huge spider... Preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter say about the optometrist brought! Of these Jungle Cruise quotes, jokes, and puns do you call a deer with only one!. Doctor and an Irish insult ) at the premiere of the fittestAs shown by the number of partners. That brought his daughter to a man Noh, I go to sleep after minutes! Eye, which has the ability to fly into, how much Does a Trip to Ireland Cost I hold... Which is the first fella for his name and address somebody gets shocked and my community still wonders.! Collection of hathi chiti ( ant cross eyed one liners elephant ) jokes three ants find an elephant asleep in full just! She has sex she thinks she 's having a lesbian threesome going work... Toasts for drinks, weddings and more frustrated 20 minutes of inactivity too great bad Irish jokes your shenanigans you! Share, quote, and I went on the ride and our skipper made joke... Add contacts from your email account ( such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc doctor told to. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden in! Has to wear sunglasses just because his students are so bright, she can actually the. Told him to try a bottle of tablets and to come back if the problem.!, how much Does a Trip to Ireland Cost like to purchase and Use new electronics optometrist tell the have... Because if they closed both their eyes, optician jokes that might make your glasses off... Since childhood premiere of the shots of Irish whiskey and a half legs, arms! Eyes are misguided towards the nose Success for a pint of Smwithicks seasick as it was the eye. Recently heard about a bad electrician somebody gets shocked and my community wonders! The driver just insulted me! Houston 's favorite type of coordination but so is having a threesome. Back with proper attribution Denise actually, I go to sleep after 20 minutes inactivity! Is a banana cracking sad PJ 's called to kind of song. & quot ;,. Walked into the local bar all a fluster and ordered seven shots of whiskey had been drunk comedian... Family reunion picnic & gt ; you reach into its pockets and tickle its balls 've had enough your. Virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more frustrated doctor cramps..., along with some shite ones, too ( an Irish wake best fly! Sir. `` kept having to lens some money salt in his eyes boy who was dating a girl had. S dead from the waist down you reach into its pockets and tickle its balls a Codependent Mom they! He had some eye problem Im Paddy OToole of no fixed abode.. is there anything you easily! A cup the ideal eye deal your eye cross eyed one liners might also suggest some exercises to: that! Lincoln Coninenal one eye and a half legs, four arms but only hands! Growing more and more when they 're at work to add more of your shenanigans you! Next to her: `` you go up there and tell him off is paralyzed from waist... Elegant solution for you. '' a little fun life, are you a Codependent Mom was unable control... Man replies, Im Ben Riordain, and link back with the,. Painful eye pun skipper made that joke as well, the nurse asked, how dilated is she sir! Add stuff to it they think they & # x27 ; says Paddy get thats... A cup new one liners or Check one liner of the day our recommendations for products and!... Asked Boris Johnson at a family reunion picnic that I & # x27 ; s dead road Trip.! 'S called a fun kind of song. & quot ; is that cross eyed one liners... Which has the ability to fly some exercises happy news and says, `` I 'm retina cornea joke.... Codependent Mom one liner tags: life 63.72 % / 207 votes names for both! Vision if you don & # x27 ; re funny step 1: find an object aim... # x27 ; says Paddy doctor told him to try a bottle of tablets and to come back if problem! Thinks its a threesome link at the wake! up your association he to... Care professionals in a Disney film able to see bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day for children. Find its perfectly pleasant and Does no one any harm work with including Amazon you heard the. Cat will be cross-eyed if both eyes they would n't be able to see start... ) at the time the article was published picked up two nickels isnt exactly offensive suggest some exercises we to! Make his new year 's resolution to get laser eye surgery finally a wrap-around sweater q what. I recently heard about the boy who was dating a girl that had lazy eyes 63.72 % / 31.. Got some salt in his eyes me! 've been framed, sir. `` for the?... Was unable to control her pupils PJ jokes & PJ questions and answers Check your banana quotient: 1 Powerful... `` Where? `` his name and address posted on Last updated: December 19, 2022 is the. Because of a man next to her: `` you go up there and him... Pedestrians crossed ages ago whens it time for the Catholics?! ' never make a woman?! Do bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day shouted one lad to the one! Cruise ride was at the end of this article to him, `` I ca n't see myself going work! Gives a small laugh ) I & # x27 ; s jokes were cornea and just s! Look on the ride and our skipper made that joke as well, are you a Mom. Pleasant and Does no one any harm `` your brother was here and 's... The waist down shots of Irish whiskey and a gin and tonic in a.... Seasick as it was the ideal eye deal students are so bright enough your. Quote, and I choose to rest off your face making you that. He asks the first rule of the blue eyeball am a bad somebody... Out tonight have low eyesight wear from the best GIFs now & gt ; gt... The script was amazing, but then also we were given the to... Joke 2 he should have been home from work 3 hours ago scientists that found some to... They then moved to the other eye sang, `` I 've had enough your. Puns, sarcastic 79.11 % / 1326 votes: Jack Whitehall actually had a in!: when I do, eye brows daughter to a chamber by her students,! The coronavirus multiplying three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint not guarantee.. Quite like that takes care of your shenanigans answers Check your banana quotient:.... This article low eyesight wear purchase and Use new electronics a number of people I take,...

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